I am the canvas and you are the paint that leaves your gorgeous mark but goes on to do it again somewhere else. I am the messily pasted together book full of wrinkled memories you’ve moved on from. I am the mixed cd with scratches that rests on the passenger floor of your car. I am the statue that beams your greatness to the world, a marble mouth that has no original words to say. I am the song you’ll always know the words to, but you rarely sing these days. I am a hoarder of days past, a heart piled with have-beens so high you can’t walk a straight line. I am the vault that holds the things no one else would care to save at the end of the world.



Wednesday was France day complete with croissants and chocolate mousse and the kids having no idea what significance this has. Terrible thunderstorms while at work, throwing our little world into darkness for a while. Flooded streets. Having my home life at my work life via my sister. Being horrified by the morbidity of Babar and The Hunchback of Notre Dame. Leaving work on the wet roads and weird-smelling air conditioning and brimming with pure excitement for the four days to come. Falling asleep watching Adam West play Batman and be sprayed in the face with colored powder muttering “False…face…” like he does.

Thursday was sleeping in and getting mine and Abbi’s Sims 3 Showtime games in the mail three days early, being able to surprise her (and subsequently feed her Sims addiction). It was honestly and truly a blur of anticipation that I don’t remember much of because my brain just kept repeating that tonight is the Batman Marathon and all is right with the world. Leaving after five and getting to the theater too early for my siblings’ liking and Ben getting McDonalds and taking a big drink of his Coke to (jokingly) spite him for not getting us mocha frappes we didn’t need. Some lady in an orange car taking our original parking space and taking the third one in and bouncing out of the car because I was having a serious anxiety attack over getting decent seats. Ben and Abbi mocking said anxiety and stirring it up by telling me every car was probably full of nerds parking and getting there first. Getting lovely seats three rows up and being forty minutes early and listening to the excited buzz of all of the people there early with us. Pointing out amazing Batman t-shirts (and a Doctor Who as well) and taking mental notes for ones I’d like to have. The guy behind us with a Batsignal pointer, waving it all over the big screen. Ben hollering “where IS Batman?!” as the Batsignal blazes and there he is, in all his black-clad glory, coming around the corner and putting his hands on his hips. His partner in awesome is dressed as Catwoman, and applause breaks out as he walks up and SITS IN OUR ROW. The nice man who works in the theater makes his announcements, interrupted by a guy in the way back who wants to know if he’ll have a chance to see the commercial he’s missing while his friend explains that we shouldn’t worry because they’ve sedated him. Batman Begins is first, in all its glory, with a real live thunderstorm for ambiance, and just as Liam Neeson and Christian Bale are about to throw down in Wayne Manor THE ELECTRICITY GOES OUT and everyone groans and a bunch of people get up to go to the bathroom. Ten minutes later, it’s back on, and the film ends, and everyone claps. A bathroom break and more enthusiasm later and The Dark Knight is playing. Rachel Dawes the Second makes her appearance and the boys next to me, who have been laughing at inappropriate times all evening, making horrified gagging sounds and even though I agree I have a moment of guilt for that agreement. Batman flips a big rig with the cables on his Batpod and those same boys holler, “HOO-AH! THAT GOT ‘EM!” while I laugh so hard I think I might have an aneurism. Applause as it finishes and a half hour later and the clock strikes midnight, though instead of turning into pumpkins and housemaids, we all turn into ridiculous fanboys and fangirls. The excitement has escalated even though the night is long, the guy next to me is freaking out “I AM SO STOKED I JUST WANT TO CLAP”. Ben snaps a picture of Batman for me, and as a half hour passes we all scream as the Superman teaser trailer makes its appearance and the beauty of The Dark Knight Rises begins. It’s so much better than I could’ve imagined, and when it ends, I just want to sit there and bask in it, although we can’t if we ever want to get out of the parking lot. I’m basically speechless and when we get home Abbi falls right asleep but I can’t until almost four.

Friday is sleeping in until almost noon and finding out about Aurora and lazing around until going grocery shopping with my mom and sister and then playing Sims 3 and watching way too much TV. In the back of my mind I can’t let go of the horrible feeling in my stomach that people died on what I considered the “best night ever” and I can’t really enjoy my day off knowing that those people’s lives are changed forever.

Yesterday is more sleeping in, more television, more being lazy. Still sad as can be, my heart heavy for the people in Colorado and unable to shake it. I write about it, pray about it. Try to watch my DVR recording of Whip It which cuts out ten minutes in because it was storming when it aired. Go for some retail therapy and buy Whip It on DVD and some t-shirts and sunglasses and a grande white chocolate mocha. Finish (and love) Whip It and buy the soundtrack on iTunes and try to write but get distracted by Tumblr and web comics and Facebook. End up writing a really morbid scene for book 2 and feel a bit better. Sketch Abbi and I as Adventure Time characters (or Ooovians as I like to call them). Eat lots of junk food and watch Kung Pow with Abbi. Finally fall asleep around 2am.

Today I slept in until after 1:30 in the afternoon, and have spent the entire day on the couch watching Gilmore Girls. While helping mom get ready for dinner Abbi and I break out into a crazy race to set the table and clean the living room. I’m starting to feel restless and ready to go back to work which is good because I need to be ready or I’ll be miserable tomorrow. And I realized that I really do love my life. Yeah, there are a lot of adventures I still want to have, and stuff I want to see and experience, but right now, I think things are pretty damn good.



(–via nbcnews)

I can’t help but dwell on the tragedy that occurred on the same night that I had claimed for myself as the “best. night. ever.” – not realizing the horror that was unfolding states away, in a Colorado theater packed with fellow lovers of Batman.

Going to see a movie – and one of the best films I’ve seen, I dare say – should be a safe and fun experience. Now the date that Batfans everywhere should have been able to associate with a simple sort of bittersweet joy at the ending of a grand trilogy is now marred by senseless violence and a surge of empathy for those who lost their lives because of one twisted man’s idea of a great scheme. What the hell was he thinking? What could he possibly gain from this act of pointless violence? How dare he rob twelve people of their lives, and wound fifty-nine others? How dare he steal people’s loved ones, break families apart, and cut off futures? Seventy-one people shot. And all they were doing was seeing a midnight showing. It’s unbelievable and horrifying.

I can’t begin to understand any of this, and I wasn’t even there. I can’t imagine how the people who made it out of that theater are feeling today. I’m praying for every single one of them, and my heart is still breaking over it all.

And on a lesser note, how dare this sick gunman take away one of the simplest pleasures of fandom – dressing up as the character you love? AMC Theatres have banned costumes now. I understand why, especially the fake weapons bit, and I don’t condemn them. But how is that fair to people with no malicious intent, who just want to be a proud nerd wearing the cape and cowl?

How dare this man try and ruin one of the greatest pastimes, something as beautiful and simple and enjoyable as going to a movie theater?

I can tell you that I will be going back. I’ll see The Dark Knight Rises again, despite the dark cloud hanging over the day of its release. I’ll still buy tickets to midnight showings of future films I’m excited about. I’ll still take my sister with me to the theater, and I won’t fear for my life or hers, because nobody should have to. I still love film, and no psychopath is going to take that away from me.

But did he take it away from those people in Aurora? Will they ever be able to sit in a dark theater again without that lingering fear in the back of their minds? It isn’t fair to them. It was completely evil, and senseless.

While I’m praying for healing for the victims, I’m praying for justice to be done.

And that this never happens again.

Thirty Day-Challenged.

So, I made it through an entire week of challenge topics and then I missed three straight days and now I couldn’t care less if I finish this thing or not. My attention span is way too short and I’ve been wanting to read, and work on my books. Plus I’m not entirely sure if anyone is reading this mess. Haha.

Anyway, Friday night Abbi and I watched Howl’s Moving Castle (I freakin’ love that movie) and she actually liked it. I was surprised and pleased. And I spent my Saturday afternoon at a baby shower for my friend Steph (who is due next month and is tiny as ever!), then dog and house-sitting for my grandparents while they were away visiting relatives. It was a good time spent with my cousin Elle and my sister until I got sick last night and made it less fun… as we were supposed to be eating tons of junk food and such. Ha. Today was better, but tomorrow I really want to get back on track as far as eating goes. My body is practically begging. Kind of bummed though, as this mix of circumstances kept me from my bff’s grad party today. :\

Now I’m getting my hermit on, relishing in my love for technology and wanting to watch Doctor Who (as usual) and read webcomics (Multiplex is one of my favorites) or the copy of Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter that my cousin Tommy let me borrow. (Guys, is the correct term “lent” to someone?) I can’t decide which sounds better, but I don’t really want to do anything productive… Other than laundry. It’d be bad if I skipped that.

Later gators!


Day 07 — A photo that makes you happy.


This is my class, and two of my favorite ladies (and myself), as cartoon characters – and this culmination of our sheer awesome is our class flag for our Olympic/Around-the-World themed summer camp. Tomorrow is our last day of England week which would make me super sad if it wasn’t our sweet TEA PARTY and my sister wasn’t coming along which will make my kids’ day. 🙂

Day 04 — Your favorite book.

I can actually do this one, guys.

It’s When Heaven Weeps by Ted Dekker.


I’ve read it at least seven times. If not more. It’s a completely beautiful and intense picture of Christ’s love and it breaks my heart every time. Love it.

Day 03 — Your favorite television program.

Double-post day goes on to bring you my favorite television programs.

  1. Doctor Who

    Rose & NineThey say you never forget your first Doctor

    Well, I’m here to testify to that being true. My first Doctor was the Ninth (Christopher Eccleston) and he was, of course, brilliant. This BBC show quickly became one of my absolute favorites when my fellow geek Ryan told me I really needed to see it, and Netflix happened to have seasons 1-5, so last summer the love affair began. I watched every single episode from the recent seasons in a matter of a few weeks. The truth is, though, I can pick one favorite Doctor, and that is Ten (David Tennant).


    I am not exaggerating (well, maybe I am just a bit…) when I tell you that the Tenth Doctor is one of the best things that ever happened to me. I still feel that he should definitely put on the ol’ pinstripe suit and carry the Olympic torch through London. And Ten and Rose?

    Ten & Rose

    I will go down with that ‘ship.

  2. Pushing Daisies 

    ImageTHIS SHOW. I can’t understand how anyone would notlike this show, and it still pains me that it was cancelled in the prime of its brilliance. The cast, the colors, the clothes, the ridiculous but amazing storylines, the setting… everything about this show was wonderful and dreamlike. I miss having new episodes to look forward to, though I have watched my blu-ray collections of seasons one and two enough… (If you didn’t catch it from my previous post, this show is what introduced me to Lee Pace, whom I still love to this day.)Image

    This particular expression has been dubbed “Nedface”, and is used by my best friend and myself to express a certain level of otherwise indescribable angst.

    PLEASE do yourself a favor and watch this show. It’s fantastic.

  3. Adventure TimeImageI am well aware that this show airs on Cartoon Network, and is considered a kids’ show. HOWEVER, there is so much adult humor on this show that it’s just as fun for me to watch as it is for my eight-year-old cousin Karrington. Everyone in my family sits down together to watch the new episodes, and there isn’t a person under fourteen years old in my house. It’s that much fun. It’s magical, hilarious, and just completely weird. I proudly drive around with a Finn magnet on the back of my Beetle.
  4. Regular ShowMordo & Riggs

    Seriously… This show is completely ridiculous. Mordecai (a blue jay) and Rigby (a raccoon) are best friends who happen to run around naked and everyone acts like it’s normal. It only gets addressed in one episode. The characters are larger than life. The stories are ridiculous. You can’t go one episode without something insane and supernatural/paranormal happening. I can’t even describe it. It’s amazing. (And it airs on Monday nights on Cartoon Network after Adventure Time.)

  5. GrimmGrimm cast

    It’s on NBC. Just freaking watch it. Seriously.
  6. Modern FamilyImage

    Wednesday nights on ABC. This show is absolutely freakin’ hilarious. The characters are amazing. Brilliant.

  7. Raising HopeRaising Hope cast

    Completely and utterly hilarious. Fantastic. This show is ridiculous, redneck fun. I can’t praise this comedy enough. The season finale blew my mind.

  8. New GirlImage
    This show makes me laugh so hard I cry. But it’s dynamic, and frankly just stupendous. Can’t wait to own it on DVD. Haha.
  9. The IT Crowd 

    I own all of these. Hilarious, nerdy British comedy. I adore it. Moss is my favorite!

  10. Gilmore GirlsLorelai & Rory

    I know this show is over, but it’s still one of my very favorites. My Mom and sister and I have bonded through watching this show, and I love it. It’s a nostalgic love for me. And I think I will always love it.

Hope this gives you a bit of insight into my world. ;]

xx D

Day 02 — Your favorite movie.

If there is one thing I can explain to you, lovely reader, about myself, it’s this:

I can’t choose one favorite anything.

Film, in general, has always been something I’ve really loved. Movies stick with me. They make me feel. They’ve taught me things about myself. They’ve helped to shape how I see the world, and how I feel about what’s in it. I can’t choose just one — it’s too difficult. (I don’t even have just one favorite color.) So I’m going to give you a list of some of my favorite movies of all time, and explain why. More is better, right?

  1. Star Wars: Episode V – The Empire Strikes Back.


    If you know me at all, you know that I’m a self-proclaimed Star Wars nerd. I have a ridiculous collection of Star Wars things, mainly books (a marriage of two obsessions), and I went to Los Angeles in 2007 for Celebration IV (which was completely fantastic). I fought these movies originally, because I did not embrace my inner nerd/geek. But if there is one thing I can thank my ex-boyfriend for, it is for sitting me down and encouraging me to watch the original trilogy. I was fifteen years old. The year was 2005. And I can tell you that what struck me the most, even more than the general awe I felt from the films themselves, was the scene in The Empire Strikes Back when Luke Skywalker meets Yoda for the first time. I don’t know why this particular moment stuck with me so poignantly – I have a lot of favorite parts – but this film out of the six is most definitely my favorite.

  2.  Pride and Prejudice (2005)


    This movie. I read this book in Mrs. Mohan’s English class, in tenth or eleventh grade, and absolutely loved it. We watched a miniseries version of the story (I can’t remember which), which was very thorough, if a bit dry, but I enjoyed it. And then, this interpretation came out… I didn’t see it in theaters, but when I did finally see it, it took my breath away. It’s true to the story, the acting and score are beautiful, and it made me fall in love with the characters and setting all over again. And the cinematography! — that combined with the beautiful soundtrack always leaves me awestruck.

  3.  The Dark Knight


    First off, let me start by saying that I have always liked Batman. He was always sort of hovering there in the shadows of my mind as a favorite of mine. But this movie? Catapulted the love I had for Batman to the point of near-obsession. It is brilliant. I don’t even know how else to describe it.

  4. Tangled


    I have a long-term love affair with Disney movies. I’m aware of the cliches and mixed messages and hidden agendas. I know that Disney manipulates our emotions to sell their movies. And the sad truth is, I don’t care. I see the beauty in them. I see the spiritual parallels in a lot of these stories. And Tangled? I’m a firm believer in timing. I think that sometimes we miss things and catch up on them later, like a book we buy and don’t read until a year or so down the road, or a movie we see when it comes out on Redbox or Netflix because we didn’t get a chance to see it in theaters, because that’s when we were supposed to see it. Maybe that’s weird, but I guess it’s because film affects me on such a deep level, and Tangled came out at the perfect time. I saw it with my mom and sister Abbi in 3D. And I cried my way through it. It’s beautiful. Especially the lantern scene. Sigh.

  5.  The Fall


    Lee Pace (huge crush on him to this day which started with my love for Pushing Daisies… but besides that, he really is a brilliant actor).
    Gorgeous, jaw-dropping cinematography and visuals.
    Heart-wrenching storyline.
    There is nothing else to tell you but freaking see this filmJUST FIND IT AND SEE IT.

    So, that’s my list. I have a much longer, more extensive list, but this is the quick and dirty peek inside my love of movies.

    This post would’ve been done yesterday had it not been my brother’s wedding reception! It was an amazing day, to say the least. I haven’t danced like that (with other people) in… actually, I can’t remember the last time. I was exhausted and sweaty when it was all over but so alive. Haha. (However, the OCD tendencies in me are upset that day 2 was posted on June 3. ohhh well.

    Day 03 to be up later today. ❤

    xx D