Staycation.

Wednesday was France day complete with croissants and chocolate mousse and the kids having no idea what significance this has. Terrible thunderstorms while at work, throwing our little world into darkness for a while. Flooded streets. Having my home life at my work life via my sister. Being horrified by the morbidity of Babar and The Hunchback of Notre Dame. Leaving work on the wet roads and weird-smelling air conditioning and brimming with pure excitement for the four days to come. Falling asleep watching Adam West play Batman and be sprayed in the face with colored powder muttering “False…face…” like he does.

Thursday was sleeping in and getting mine and Abbi’s Sims 3 Showtime games in the mail three days early, being able to surprise her (and subsequently feed her Sims addiction). It was honestly and truly a blur of anticipation that I don’t remember much of because my brain just kept repeating that tonight is the Batman Marathon and all is right with the world. Leaving after five and getting to the theater too early for my siblings’ liking and Ben getting McDonalds and taking a big drink of his Coke to (jokingly) spite him for not getting us mocha frappes we didn’t need. Some lady in an orange car taking our original parking space and taking the third one in and bouncing out of the car because I was having a serious anxiety attack over getting decent seats. Ben and Abbi mocking said anxiety and stirring it up by telling me every car was probably full of nerds parking and getting there first. Getting lovely seats three rows up and being forty minutes early and listening to the excited buzz of all of the people there early with us. Pointing out amazing Batman t-shirts (and a Doctor Who as well) and taking mental notes for ones I’d like to have. The guy behind us with a Batsignal pointer, waving it all over the big screen. Ben hollering “where IS Batman?!” as the Batsignal blazes and there he is, in all his black-clad glory, coming around the corner and putting his hands on his hips. His partner in awesome is dressed as Catwoman, and applause breaks out as he walks up and SITS IN OUR ROW. The nice man who works in the theater makes his announcements, interrupted by a guy in the way back who wants to know if he’ll have a chance to see the commercial he’s missing while his friend explains that we shouldn’t worry because they’ve sedated him. Batman Begins is first, in all its glory, with a real live thunderstorm for ambiance, and just as Liam Neeson and Christian Bale are about to throw down in Wayne Manor THE ELECTRICITY GOES OUT and everyone groans and a bunch of people get up to go to the bathroom. Ten minutes later, it’s back on, and the film ends, and everyone claps. A bathroom break and more enthusiasm later and The Dark Knight is playing. Rachel Dawes the Second makes her appearance and the boys next to me, who have been laughing at inappropriate times all evening, making horrified gagging sounds and even though I agree I have a moment of guilt for that agreement. Batman flips a big rig with the cables on his Batpod and those same boys holler, “HOO-AH! THAT GOT ‘EM!” while I laugh so hard I think I might have an aneurism. Applause as it finishes and a half hour later and the clock strikes midnight, though instead of turning into pumpkins and housemaids, we all turn into ridiculous fanboys and fangirls. The excitement has escalated even though the night is long, the guy next to me is freaking out “I AM SO STOKED I JUST WANT TO CLAP”. Ben snaps a picture of Batman for me, and as a half hour passes we all scream as the Superman teaser trailer makes its appearance and the beauty of The Dark Knight Rises begins. It’s so much better than I could’ve imagined, and when it ends, I just want to sit there and bask in it, although we can’t if we ever want to get out of the parking lot. I’m basically speechless and when we get home Abbi falls right asleep but I can’t until almost four.

Friday is sleeping in until almost noon and finding out about Aurora and lazing around until going grocery shopping with my mom and sister and then playing Sims 3 and watching way too much TV. In the back of my mind I can’t let go of the horrible feeling in my stomach that people died on what I considered the “best night ever” and I can’t really enjoy my day off knowing that those people’s lives are changed forever.

Yesterday is more sleeping in, more television, more being lazy. Still sad as can be, my heart heavy for the people in Colorado and unable to shake it. I write about it, pray about it. Try to watch my DVR recording of Whip It which cuts out ten minutes in because it was storming when it aired. Go for some retail therapy and buy Whip It on DVD and some t-shirts and sunglasses and a grande white chocolate mocha. Finish (and love) Whip It and buy the soundtrack on iTunes and try to write but get distracted by Tumblr and web comics and Facebook. End up writing a really morbid scene for book 2 and feel a bit better. Sketch Abbi and I as Adventure Time characters (or Ooovians as I like to call them). Eat lots of junk food and watch Kung Pow with Abbi. Finally fall asleep around 2am.

Today I slept in until after 1:30 in the afternoon, and have spent the entire day on the couch watching Gilmore Girls. While helping mom get ready for dinner Abbi and I break out into a crazy race to set the table and clean the living room. I’m starting to feel restless and ready to go back to work which is good because I need to be ready or I’ll be miserable tomorrow. And I realized that I really do love my life. Yeah, there are a lot of adventures I still want to have, and stuff I want to see and experience, but right now, I think things are pretty damn good.

Thirty Day-Challenged.

So, I made it through an entire week of challenge topics and then I missed three straight days and now I couldn’t care less if I finish this thing or not. My attention span is way too short and I’ve been wanting to read, and work on my books. Plus I’m not entirely sure if anyone is reading this mess. Haha.

Anyway, Friday night Abbi and I watched Howl’s Moving Castle (I freakin’ love that movie) and she actually liked it. I was surprised and pleased. And I spent my Saturday afternoon at a baby shower for my friend Steph (who is due next month and is tiny as ever!), then dog and house-sitting for my grandparents while they were away visiting relatives. It was a good time spent with my cousin Elle and my sister until I got sick last night and made it less fun… as we were supposed to be eating tons of junk food and such. Ha. Today was better, but tomorrow I really want to get back on track as far as eating goes. My body is practically begging. Kind of bummed though, as this mix of circumstances kept me from my bff’s grad party today. :\

Now I’m getting my hermit on, relishing in my love for technology and wanting to watch Doctor Who (as usual) and read webcomics (Multiplex is one of my favorites) or the copy of Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter that my cousin Tommy let me borrow. (Guys, is the correct term “lent” to someone?) I can’t decide which sounds better, but I don’t really want to do anything productive… Other than laundry. It’d be bad if I skipped that.

Later gators!

xx

Onward!

Well, it’s been almost exactly a year since we began The Biggest Loser contest last year at work. This year I’m fairly certain we aren’t doing it as a unit, but I fully intend to get back the fierce mindset I had last summer when it came to my body and my health. I am looking forward to once again obtaining the clarity of mind that regular exercise and watching what I eat brings me.

This time, rather than putting a dollar in a jar for weigh-in every week, I have my sister on this journey with me. I think she’s just as excited as I am. I feel positive about feeling the burn and being sweaty and exhausted from working out – it sounds gross, but hard work is a really good rush.

I need this lifestyle change. I don’t want yo-yo dieting or a temporary fix. Because yeah, I care about how I look, but I care more about how I feel. I miss feeling mentally, emotionally and physically healthy – much more so than I am right now. Falling back into bad habits is so easy, but I’m ready to do the work I need to do…again. Haha.

In other news, it’s getting crazy hot outside. And I really don’t love it.

The writer in me, however, has been stirred up lately, and I’m intrigued as to what will come of that. There are ideas swirling around in my head that I’m hoping will come to fruition… We’ll see.

I’m also thinking about doing the “thirty days” posts I dropped/forgot after day one last time. I think it would be interesting. 😉

What’s new in your world?

gallbladders and such.

I’m currently trying to sort the hundreds of either unread or ignored emails that are resting in my inbox, but I’m slightly ADD so I figured I’d update this beautiful little blog.

Last Friday night, I wound up in the hospital for seven hours thanks to a gallbladder attack – my first one ever. I got to have my blood taken, and sit around in various levels of pain, and I had my first sonogram. I was kind of hoping the first time that’d happen would be because I’d be pregnant with the man of my dreams (well, with his kid, not with him)… but I’m learning really quickly that life never, ever turns out the way we plan.

Anyway, the lone, solitary doctor on call informed me that my gallbladder is full of stones, but it isn’t blocked, so I’d have to talk to my doctor about whether or not I should have it removed… a perky blonde nurse came in and gave me discharge papers (for the wrong person, I might add — I’m pretty sure Brandy was the other girl who came in on a wheelchair just before me, doubled over and bawling with stomach pain)… I had a prescription for percocet (which I didn’t fill, by the way)… and I got to go home and go to sleep in my own bed.

On top of gallstones, I got a gigantic headcold from work. So, Saturday-Tuesday I pretty much just stayed in bed obsessively watching Doctor Who on Netflix (best show ever!) on my Xbox, and drinking a ton of apple juice.

Monday I saw my doctor, who told me that the best thing would be to have my gallbladder removed. He told me that if I don’t, I could have these attacks at any point, and probably will. He referred me to a surgeon’s office, and after a urine sample, he sent me on my way. On the way to drop my sister off to meet her friend, Mom and I got a flat tire. We waited for forty minutes for my grandfather to come and help us, because my dad was over an hour away at work. After that, we came home, watched a Judging Amy rerun, and then I got my blood taken by a really nice, very young redheaded boy who had a feminine lisp and told me he “loves this job”. I’m really glad, because he didn’t leave a gigantic bruise like the ER nurse did.

This evening my doctor called me with the blood test results, apparently my liver enzymes were elevated again and he wants more blood work done on Monday… so that should be super. Then Tuesday, I meet with the surgeon to discuss my gallbladder being cut outta me. I’m ready. I’ve done nothing but worry for a straight week, and if having the little jerk snipped and pulled out of me is going to allow me to eat corn on the cob without fear of being doubled over and unable to inhale fully because of the pain… well, I think it’s a fair trade.

I think this just goes to show that being an adult is kind of a pain in the rear end. And I’m not a fan. And that whenever I get too comfortable with my life, something random and crazy happens.

In addition to all this, the week before last my grandfather officially began wearing diapers because he is so out of it he doesn’t know when he’s going to the bathroom. I’m pretty sure he’s dying, and that’s really depressing. I haven’t been thinking about it because frankly, I’ve been way too neurotic and obsessive about my own health issues. On top of this never-ending headcold, and thinking too much about my gallbladder full of gross rocks, it’s that special time of the month again! Man, I’m ready for September, because so far August blows. I don’t even care that my birthday is next week. Welcome to adulthood… even though I’m already turning twenty-two, and I should get this point already.

The good news is, I’ve already lost twenty pounds just since June 1st. (The sucky part is, that’s another thing that agitates your gallbladder – rapid weight loss.) I’m doing it the healthy way, too. Watching what I eat, exercising a lot… I’m going to win The Biggest Loser at work, unless someone miraculously beats me in the next few weeks of weigh-ins… I’d feel way more triumphant if everything else wasn’t so frustrating this week. Ha.

I’m just a bit blue. It’s funny, last week before all of this happened I was looking into getting a newer car, because mine is acting up a lot again. It’s always something else it seems with Chewie, so I was searching for Chewie II… and now I’m going to have big, fat medical bills to take care of.

I’m just freaking tired. I know it could be a lot worse, and so many people are worse off than I am. I’m just discouraged.

rainy days & mondays

It’s storming here, and it reminds me of how much I love the sound of summer thunderstorms. I sit between two of the rowdy kids who can’t go to sleep left to their own devices, my white Kindle in my clutches with the ebook version of Twilight open and being re-read for the fifth or sixth time. Blended with the movie soundtrack, and the rain rushing down the windows that are covered in water-color planet Earths, I feel like I’m in Forks, Washington for the briefest of moments. When my break time comes, I dutifully tote a large, thin bag full of food, paper towels, and dirty diapers to the Dumpster sitting outside. The downpour has successfully turned our outdoor playground into a water park, with a swamp theme. My black Nike flip-flops squeak a little as I walk across the blacktop, and I appreciate the cooling off that has occurred thanks to the storm front. I love the way the droplets collect on everything – my car windows, the back door of my house, the shiny gold-ish door handle… In short, the rain is a lovely thing. For once, it doesn’t flood me with melancholy… I just feel serene.

This morning was pretty uneventful… unless you count pulling out of the driveway and seeing a Zach Galifianakis clone standing across the street, leaning against the cow fence and wearing absolutely no pants. Just short white boxers, and a white t-shirt, a brown leather dog leash coiled around his fist. It’s then that I see the dog romping around with the posse of cows that are just minding their own business. If I didn’t have to get to work, I would have stopped and helped him. I hate that time restraints make me feel guilty because I miss out on opportunities to be compassionate.

I left my phone at home. So I’ve basically been walking around naked all morning. It’s a weird feeling. So is knowing that there are people that are going to read my book, who basically know nothing about me, but are going to see some of my innermost thoughts morphed into fiction. That’s kind of like being naked, too.

I hope your day is wonderful.

all things amazing!

As I write this, I am amazed by the fact that my book is not only finished, it’s officially available for purchase from amazon and createspace. I am a published author. People are asking me to sign their copy of my book. Oh my sweet goodness. (That is incredibly silly, by the way, but it’s flattering just the same.)

Granted, I am a self-published author, which means word of mouth is my biggest ally at the moment. My friends and family have been feverishly ordering their copies to support my efforts, and once they read my novel for themselves, I’m hoping to have some legitimate reviews to give you guys. They may be slightly biased, but I’m asking everyone to be as honest as possible, so we’ll see how that goes. If you’re interested at all in checking out the finished product, do yourself a favor and visit my author page (!) on Amazon, or directly to my CreateSpace page as linked above. (If you’re scared of hyperlinks, just click on “amazon” or “buy my book” at the homepage of this blog.)

Life is… what it is lately. I don’t even know how to describe it to you. I’ve lost seventeen pounds since June 1st, and I feel a thousand times better physically and emotionally. It’s the summer I’m going to overcome a list of obstacles, guys. That may be cliche and “coming-of-age” but I’m going to be twenty-two next month. It’s about freaking time I accomplish some things.

I’m still happy at my job. Being a preschool teacher is exhausting but it’s also really rewarding. I have an outlet for my abilities, and I’m a part of something awesome every day, so it’s a pretty spectacular thing. I drew the Sydney Opera House over a glitter painting I made with the kids a few days ago, and that was shockingly fulfilling, even though it’s not the best and if I wasn’t a big fish in a small pond, nobody would care about it besides me. 😉

Monday was a terrible start to a Twilight Zone week from hell. I woke up in a horrible mood for no good reason, it was so freaking hot that all of us kids & teachers were trapped indoors all day — which, by the way, if you stick thirteen 2-year-olds in a confined space for a long period of time, they get very restless and tend to misbehave. By the time evening came, I was so spent I decided to just be impulsive, and do something different… so I sent one of my girlfriends a text, we made a booze run, and came back to my house to make frozen strawberry margaritas. It was an excellent idea, especially since I had no plans to get wasted — I just wanted to splurge on something after a crappy day. Sooo, we mix together the necessary ingredients (ice, frozen strawberries, frozen limeade concentrate, tequila, and triple sec… for those of you who are wondering. AllRecipes.com has the formula I used! ;D) in my mom’s Ninja Master Prep blender… [click on that, and have a gander at those blades.] We sugar the rim of my cheap Walmart margarita glasses, pour ’em, and stick a big ol’ milkshake straw in each for good measure. Before I can sit outside in the cooling summer day to enjoy the frozen concoction and rant about my day with said friend, I have to clean up after myself, since I still live with my parents and I’m not gonna leave the kitchen a mess (my mom freaks out when things are left on the counter… it’s one of her ‘things’.)… So we wash out measuring cups & such, and I swish the blade around in the dishwater and stick it behind the sink to scrub off later, so that nobody sticks their hand in the water and cuts themselves open — those Ninja blades are insanely sharp! So then, I grab a dishrag, and go to turn the faucet on to rinse the rag out, and guess what happens? I slice my right ring finger open on the very blade I was trying to protect the rest of the world from.

“Uh, I just cut myself,” I say urgently, my voice getting louder with each word, with just a twinge of hysteria. “It’s bleeding really badly. It isn’t stopping. I don’t know what to do.”

My dad walks over and says, “Well, the first thing you do is panic. That’s always the best thing to do.” And if I wasn’t preoccupied with all of the O-positive leaking out of the diagonal slice on my offended digit, I probably would’ve told him I didn’t appreciate his sarcasm.

Needless to say, everyone, this is why I am not rebellious (yes, I am legal, but my dad hates alcohol in general) or impulsive.

It’s freaking dangerous!

The rest of the week just went from there. I couldn’t bend my finger for like two days because I was afraid of cutting my finger open again, so that was fun. The kids have been completely wild and disobedient this week… it’s just been bizarre. I can’t even describe it. All I know is, this heat wave needs to cut it out. I demand a week of beautiful weather so that these children can run around outside! I can’t take it anymore!

In other news, Dance Central for the Kinect is probably one of the greatest games in existence. I bought it for my sister for Christmas, but I play it just as much as she does. We usually play together. It’s great exercise, and it is fun as all get-out. You sweat before you even realize you’re working hard. The Kinect has impressed me so much. It kicks the Wii’s ass, for sure. And although Xbox Live is really sneaky about charging your credit card for things, their customer service reps are really helpful. At least, the few times I’ve had billing issues, they’ve made refunds happen and canceled Live memberships for me really quickly. I’m just impressed with them all around.

I think the rest of this night is going to involve watching movies with my little sister.

Just kidding! I uploaded my book to Smashwords! It’s now available in ebook format! Yay!

How was your week?

so, my pen name is d. justine.

So, y’all probably won’t remember this little post from february 27th of last year…

But, I did it. I wrote a book.
I started back in November as part of NaNoWriMo,
And now it’s complete.
As soon as I approve the proof, it will be available right here.

I just thought I should announce this.

When I have more time (whenever that will be), this will be my author blog.

Keep watching for all kinds of cool book-related things! ;]

back in the saddle.

I haven’t blogged in so freakin’ long…

I don’t even know what to say!

I was battling a stomach bug from last Sunday until this past Friday morning, when I suddenly felt amazing. Wednesday night I couldn’t sleep a wink; I tossed and turned until 4:30 in the morning when I finally literally cried out to God and gave Him all this stuff I’d been keeping to myself… emotionally and spiritually this was very cleansing, but no sleep still equals a sucky day. Thursday I took off work (something that absolutely horrifies me/fills me with guilt, so I don’t do it unless it’s necessary!) because I was still so miserable.

But let me tell you what… nothing tastes better than pizza when you feel like your old self again, and you’ve been craving it all day.  That was my dinner, and it was glorious.

The weather here has been shockingly gorgeous. I hate this town most of the time but I must give honor where honor is due; it’s been lovely. Especially getting to take the kids outside. Do you know how restless 1-and-2-year-olds get when they are stuck inside all day? I’ve got to tell you, it’s not pretty. So kids and teachers alike have been lovin’ the fresh air. I, for one, can testify that it improves my mood exponentially to get away from the lingering smell of dirty diapers! (And I tell you what: Friday it was in the seventies, and it made me want to pack up everything I own and throw it in the backseat of my brother’s purple Mustang  GT Convertible and just drive to North Carolina.)

My car had been on the fritz for weeks, and finally last week my dad had time to replace the stupid leaking coolant flange, after the one website sent us the wrong one & he re-ordered the correct one… it was making a super weird sound yesterday when Abbi and I ran to McDonald’s (big mistake by the way; it’s been super disgusting lately), but today to & from work it was totally fine. I’m relieved because, I MISSED CHEWIE SO MUCH. My dad made a comment about how I should probably get a new car soon… the thought of that makes me want to vomit, if I’m being honest. Not only do I love the car I’ve had since I was sixteen and first learning, but I don’t want a car payment! We’ll see. So far, so good; Mama says I shouldn’t borrow trouble over it.

I don’t know if anyone is reading this, but if you are… how are you? What’s new in your life?

♥ D