Day 05 — Your favorite quote.

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Day 04 — Your favorite book.

I can actually do this one, guys.

It’s When Heaven Weeps by Ted Dekker.

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I’ve read it at least seven times. If not more. It’s a completely beautiful and intense picture of Christ’s love and it breaks my heart every time. Love it.

Day 02 — Your favorite movie.

If there is one thing I can explain to you, lovely reader, about myself, it’s this:

I can’t choose one favorite anything.

Film, in general, has always been something I’ve really loved. Movies stick with me. They make me feel. They’ve taught me things about myself. They’ve helped to shape how I see the world, and how I feel about what’s in it. I can’t choose just one — it’s too difficult. (I don’t even have just one favorite color.) So I’m going to give you a list of some of my favorite movies of all time, and explain why. More is better, right?

  1. Star Wars: Episode V – The Empire Strikes Back.

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    If you know me at all, you know that I’m a self-proclaimed Star Wars nerd. I have a ridiculous collection of Star Wars things, mainly books (a marriage of two obsessions), and I went to Los Angeles in 2007 for Celebration IV (which was completely fantastic). I fought these movies originally, because I did not embrace my inner nerd/geek. But if there is one thing I can thank my ex-boyfriend for, it is for sitting me down and encouraging me to watch the original trilogy. I was fifteen years old. The year was 2005. And I can tell you that what struck me the most, even more than the general awe I felt from the films themselves, was the scene in The Empire Strikes Back when Luke Skywalker meets Yoda for the first time. I don’t know why this particular moment stuck with me so poignantly – I have a lot of favorite parts – but this film out of the six is most definitely my favorite.

  2.  Pride and Prejudice (2005)

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    This movie. I read this book in Mrs. Mohan’s English class, in tenth or eleventh grade, and absolutely loved it. We watched a miniseries version of the story (I can’t remember which), which was very thorough, if a bit dry, but I enjoyed it. And then, this interpretation came out… I didn’t see it in theaters, but when I did finally see it, it took my breath away. It’s true to the story, the acting and score are beautiful, and it made me fall in love with the characters and setting all over again. And the cinematography! — that combined with the beautiful soundtrack always leaves me awestruck.

  3.  The Dark Knight

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    First off, let me start by saying that I have always liked Batman. He was always sort of hovering there in the shadows of my mind as a favorite of mine. But this movie? Catapulted the love I had for Batman to the point of near-obsession. It is brilliant. I don’t even know how else to describe it.

  4. Tangled

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    I have a long-term love affair with Disney movies. I’m aware of the cliches and mixed messages and hidden agendas. I know that Disney manipulates our emotions to sell their movies. And the sad truth is, I don’t care. I see the beauty in them. I see the spiritual parallels in a lot of these stories. And Tangled? I’m a firm believer in timing. I think that sometimes we miss things and catch up on them later, like a book we buy and don’t read until a year or so down the road, or a movie we see when it comes out on Redbox or Netflix because we didn’t get a chance to see it in theaters, because that’s when we were supposed to see it. Maybe that’s weird, but I guess it’s because film affects me on such a deep level, and Tangled came out at the perfect time. I saw it with my mom and sister Abbi in 3D. And I cried my way through it. It’s beautiful. Especially the lantern scene. Sigh.

  5.  The Fall

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    Lee Pace (huge crush on him to this day which started with my love for Pushing Daisies… but besides that, he really is a brilliant actor).
    Gorgeous, jaw-dropping cinematography and visuals.
    Heart-wrenching storyline.
    There is nothing else to tell you but freaking see this filmJUST FIND IT AND SEE IT.

    So, that’s my list. I have a much longer, more extensive list, but this is the quick and dirty peek inside my love of movies.

    This post would’ve been done yesterday had it not been my brother’s wedding reception! It was an amazing day, to say the least. I haven’t danced like that (with other people) in… actually, I can’t remember the last time. I was exhausted and sweaty when it was all over but so alive. Haha. (However, the OCD tendencies in me are upset that day 2 was posted on June 3. ohhh well.

    Day 03 to be up later today. ❤

    xx D

Come Into My Head

(…is a Kimbra song, in case anyone is wondering. Love her.)

I can’t believe it’s been nearly a year since I’ve posted anything on this poor blog. I don’t know why I can’t make time for this thing, I waste enough of it!

I got asked a question a year ago on Formspring by a lovely girl I know, and I finally got around to answering it. She asked for five things about myself that would help her to get to know me better. It got me to thinking… I’m going to be twenty-three in August, so I’m going to give you twenty-two random things about myself that you may or may not know.

Read at your own risk…

1) I love most songs with a good beat, despite their questionable lyrical content, because although all I am capable of is horrible, shameless white-girl dancing… I love to dance, and I do it at every opportunity. Abbi and I drive around with the music blaring and do some of our greatest, most embarrassing dancing at stop lights or signs. Which brings me to number two:

2) I will make myself look completely stupid if it will make you laugh. I make horrible, hideous faces and make the strangest noises or voices just for a giggle. Even if you just shake your head at me like, “Why do I hang out with you again?” — I’ll still be satisfied.

3) I can draw! I’m not amazing or anything, but I like to draw cartoon characters and make silly comics from time to time. I’m also fantastic at tracing using a projector on the wall, even though it gives me migraines. Haha.

4) I can sing. Like a boss, if I’m being really honest. But I can’t do it on command, I find it super embarrassing. I do, however, sing at the top of my lungs in the car (whether I have passengers or not) or in the shower. And sometimes around my house. (I’m sure my family loves it.)

5) I feel awkward being the center of attention in social situations, but I have no problem with public speaking.

6) It takes me hours to make a really good playlist. I overthink it, and I have to listen to bits of each song to see if I’m really in the mood for them or not. It’s kind of exhausting and crazy.

7) I’m currently obsessed with The Hunger Games. I know, I’m really behind, and it probably makes me sound like a follower… but I have finally experienced the books and the film for myself, and I am completely in love.

8) When I’m bored with my life, I dye my hair. It’s only temporary satisfaction, and eventually the restless feeling returns, but I have been this way for the past decade. (I am currently bleached-blonde, for the first time in my life, as of last weekend.)

9) My favorite Doctor is the Tenth. Hands down.

10) I hate summertime. As soon as the heat wave strikes, I start longing for Christmas.

11) Despite my summer hate, I really love the South. It makes no sense at all.

12) If you scrolled through my iPod, you’d probably just be more confused about me than ever.

13) I will be 23 on August 10th, and I have never been kissed. Seriously. Never.

14) I am so easily distracted! I lose my train of thought frequently because my mind is always all over the place and busy, and I often forget what I was saying. I’ve done three (or five) other things in the process of trying to make this list. [Currently, I’m listening to Phoenix and trying to decide if I want “1901” on this mix(ed) CD.]

15) I’ve been single for almost seven years. That’s not to say I haven’t been interested in anyone (or that no one has been interested in me, because they have, haha), but I’ve either realized it too late, or extraneous circumstances prevented anything from becoming of it, or whatever else ruins potential relationships. I’m grateful, though, because it takes a certain strength and perseverance to be single for so long. Sure, I have my moments of loneliness, and I’d like to find my other half someday, but I’m really in no hurry. I’m glad that I’ve had plenty of time to heal and grow and become who I am. I don’t want to be the broken half in any relationship – I don’t want a person to try and fill holes in me that should either heal with work/time or be filled by God.

16) I love vinyl records. That scratchy, imperfect sound is amazing to me.

17) I’ve just recently bought myself a couple pairs of high heels in honor of my brother’s wedding (which was last Wednesday — I still can’t believe my baby brother is a married man and honeymooning in Mexico!). I’m still terrible at walking in them, but it was a big step for me because I’m definitely a flip-flops/Converses/flats kind of girl.

18) I’ve been a Christian since I was in kindergarten. And despite ups and downs and failures and doubt and questioning, I still love Jesus and try my best to follow Him with all of me.

19) I skipped third grade, and graduated valedictorian when I was sixteen.

20) …but I only have a year and a half of college under my belt.

21) A good bit of the people I love most in the world live way too far away from me to be convenient.

22) I have met some of the greatest people I’ve ever known on the internet: some during my Xanga days, some on message boards, and some by total ‘accident’. I’m so grateful for them — even the ones I’ve yet to meet in person. You know who you are. <;3

There’s a lot going on in my head lately but there’s twenty-two things for you to add to your knowledge of me. I hope it was both entertaining AND informative!

xx D

big hearts are for breakin’.

so, i had a dream last night that someone looked me straight in the eye and said,

“If you could do anything, what would you do?”

so i swallowed and shrugged and looked down and finally said,

“write.”

i don’t know what to do with that.
i don’t feel like there’s anything good in me to write, even though i’m burning to do so.

like carving a pumpkin.

God has been gutting me.

I know that sounds really graphic and strange, but there’s no other explanation. It started on February 16th and it hasn’t stopped. (Well, really, He started long before that, but I fought Him. So, I stopped fighting on February 16th.)

That’s the beauty of my God, though. Of our God. He isn’t afraid to get His holy hands dirty. He rolls up His sleeves and gets into the mess elbow-deep to pull out the root of the problem. He does the necessary surgery. He restores broken parts. He binds up the wounds.

I love Him so much.

He’s doing this in my family now, too. It started with me and now all of this craziness is happening. He’s restoring my family. Better than it was even at the height of our love for Him, of our service to Him.

There is so much work here for Him to do. For us to do with His hands guiding ours, too.

But healing is ugly. It’s blood and scabs and stitches and scars. It’s dirty and messy and not at all pretty at first.

But the process is so amazing. I’m fascinated by the healing that the human body knows to do. And that’s how it is in the spiritual part of us, too. Emotional, mental, spiritual – God does it in steps. It isn’t instantaneous. It’s so much hard work.

But it’s worth it.

It’s gonna be worth it.

I’m holding onto His promise with both hands and I am not letting go.
Never again.